Here are some simple advice for dating and relationship:
Don’t Be Lifeless!
What does that mean exactly? Well, let’s say for example you’re out at a social gathering of sorts and you spot your buddy’s ex-girlfriend that you are still cool with. You walk over and say Hello to her and her friends, catch up a bit and so on.
You’re chatting away for a good five minutes when all of a sudden, out of the corner of your eye you notice that she has something that looks like a date standing next to her. In fact, this man has been standing there the entire time, without saying a word. He is just awkwardly standing next to the group being boring and a dud and…well…lifeless.
Nobody introduced him because obviously he is a sack, and even looking at him makes you yawn. He doesn’t acknowledge the situation at all and does not introduce himself either. It’s really not because he is trying to big league or play cool, or be a tough guy. It’s simply because he is lifeless, boring, and socially awkward.
Do NOT be this person! Don’t be the boring cat…be the cool cat!
And Lastly if you really care about someone you're dating, then don't be a facebook whore, if you know what I mean. Get a life!
Facebook Whore: A person who spends an inordinate amount of time on facebook.com consistently adding people they don't know as friends, joining groups, liking pages, stalking people, etc.
The dictionary says that a kiss is "a salute made by touching with the lips pressed closely together and suddenly parting them." From this it is quite obvious that, although a dictionary-may know something about words, it knows nothing. about kissing.
If we are to get the real meaning of the word kiss, instead of going to the old fogies who compile dictionaries, we should go to the poets who still have the hot blood of youth coursing in their veins. For, instance, Coleridge called a kiss, "nectar breathing." Shakespeare says that a kiss is -a "seal of love. Martial, that old Roman poet who hid ample opportunity to do research work on the subject, says that a kiss was "the fragrance of balsam extracted- from aromatic trees; the rise odor yielded by the teeming saffron; the perfume of fruits mellowing in their winter buds; the flowery meadows in the summer; amber warmed by the hand of a girl; a bouquet of flowers that attracts the bees."
Yes, a kiss is all of these ... and more.
Others have said that a kiss was: the balm of love; the first and last of joys; love's language; the seal of bliss; love's tribute; the melting sip; the nectar of Venus; the language of love.
Yes, a kiss is all of these . . . and more.
For a kiss can never be absolutely defined. Because each kiss is different from the one before and the one after. just as no two people are alike, so are no two kisses alike. For it is people who make kisses. Real, live people pulsating with life and love and extreme happiness.
WHY PEOPLE KISS
Two people kiss because they are satisfying, a hunger within them, a hunger that is as natural as the hunger for-food, water and knowledge. It is the hunger of sex that drives them to each other.
Trivia's about Kiss:
1. There Are Tons Of Nerve Endings......in your lips (100 times more than in your fingertips!) that stimulate desire. That's why smooching before, during, and after sex can be extremely arousing and satisfying.
Source: Krista Bloom, PhD, author of The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz
2. Forty Percent Of Men Say That......a really long, steamy kiss will get them immediately ready for sex. (Thirty percent said that grabbing their crotch will do it. Duh.)
3. Pay Attention To Those "See Ya Later" Pecks. If Your Guy......routinely only gives you a quick kiss on the cheek when saying good-bye, it could be that he's guarded and doesn't emote easily. If this is a more recent development, it's a warning sign; he may be feeling ambivalent about the relationship.
Source: Body language expert Tony Reiman
4. Instantly Turn Up The Kissing Intimacy By......closing the "A-frame": a smooching stance in which you and your guy are in the middle of a smooch but your hips are a mile apart. By pressing your hips together, the degree of desire quickly rises.
Source: William Cane, kissing coach and author of The Art of Kissing
5. The Best Way To Kiss A Guy's Ear? Kiss And......suck on his earlobe for a moment and then trace the outline of his ear with the tip of your tongue. (Bonus points if you whisper something naughty to him.)
Source: Ava Cadell, PhD
6. Men Initiate Open-Mouth Kissing To Transfer......libido-boosting testosterone to their partner. So when he's getting a little more aggressive, it's not just about his desire — he wants you to be a bit more amorous too.
Source: Study by the University at Albany
7. Men Are More Than Twice As Likely......to have sex with a bad kisser than are women.
Source: eHarmony.com, "What Men and Women Want in a Kiss
8. When Coy Kisses Aren't Going To Cut It......here's why you should let loose: Passionate kisses elevate your blood pressure and cause your heart to beat faster, getting you more excited, and making it easier for you to reach orgasm.
9. Fifty-Four Percent Of Women......between the ages of 18 and 24 say they've kissed another girl. That number drops to 43 percent for those between 25 and 34.
10. During The Middle Ages, People Signed Legal Contracts......by making an "X" on the document and then kissing it to pledge their honor. That's how XX became shorthand for a smooch.
Source: Kissing: The Complete Guide by Tamar Schreibman
WHY KISSING IS PLEASANT
Once this hunger for that person evidences itself, there occurs in the human body what is known as tumescence which, in simple language, is the rhythmical contraction of the various muscles of the body together with the functioning of certain glands, just which glands science has been unable to say definitely. Gland specialists know, by performing certain operations, that the adrenal, the pituitary, the gonad and certain other glands, control the sexual behavior of human beings. It is these glands that re-act, that secrete what are known as hormones into the blood which, in turn, carries them into the various organs effected by a sexual reaction.
Therefore, it can be seen that it is the partial satisfying of the sex-hunger that makes kissing pleasurable.' Electricity is used for turning motors and lighting lamps and heating curling irons. But electricity does not give complete satisfaction to the kiss.
But enough of dry science!
We have ahead of us pleasurable reading of the bliss of the kiss. Now that we have learned why it is that men and women kiss, let us go into the methods used in. kissing so as to derive the most satisfaction from this most soul-appeasing of pleasures.
APPROVED METHODS OF KISSING
The only kiss that counts is the one exchanged by two people who are in love with each other. That is the first essential of the satisfying kiss. For a kiss is really the union of two soul-mates who have come together because they were made for each other. The. reason for this is that the kiss is really the introduction to love, true love. The kiss prepares the participants for the love life of the future. It is the foundation, the starting point of sexual love. And it is for that reason that the manner in which the kiss is performed is so vitally important.
There are still young women extant who believe that babies are the result of kisses Actually! this is a fact! And this condition exists because our parents, in the main, are either ignorant of the methods of explaining sex to their children or are too embarrassed to enlighten them. The result is that their children obtain their sexual information from the streets and alleys or else remain ignorant of it and believe such things as was mentioned above.
ENJOY THE THRILLS OF KISSING
But don't be in a hurry I As in all matters pertaining to love, don't hurry the process of kissing. A kiss is too rapturous a thing to be enjoyed for the moment and the moment only. Linger longer on her lips than you have ever lingered before. Forget time. Forget everything but the kiss in which you are in the midst of. Don't be like that bashful young lover who, after a sweet, long kiss, drew his lips away from the lips of his charmer. Immediately, She burst out into tears.
"What's the matter?" he asked solicitously.
"You don't love me I" she said between sobs.
"But I do!"
"Then why did you draw your lips away?"
"I couldn't breathe," he said naively.
Breathe? Who wants to breathe, who even wants to think of breathing in the middle of an impassioned kiss? Breathe through your nose if you have to breathe. But kiss, keep on kissing, as long as there! Is one minim of breath in you. Kiss, as Byron said we should kiss, with the "long, long kiss of youth and love."
Recently, in Chicago, there was held a marathon kissing contest to determine Which couple could hold their kiss the longest without being forced to separate. One pair was able to hold their kiss for fifteen hours. Think of that! Fifteen hours. And yet the naive lad stopped kissing because be couldn't breathe.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning must have spent many an ecstatic night of kissing with the poet, Robert Browning, if we are to judge from an excerpt from her "Aurora Leigh," in which she described a kiss as being "As long and silent as the ecstatic night."
Another poet, unknown, but certainly one who knew whereof he speaks, wrote the following poem which deserves to be quoted in its entirety.
Oh, that a joy so soon should waste,
Or so sweet a bliss as a kiss
Might not forever last!
So sugared, so melting, -so delicious.
The dew that lies on roses,
When the morn herself discloses,
Is not so precious.
Oh, rather than I would it smother
Were I to taste such another.
It. should be my wishing
That I might die kissing.
At this point, it should be explained that the lips are not the only part of the mouth which should be joined in kissing. Every lover is a glutton. He wants everything that is part of his sweetheart, everything. He doesn't want to miss a single iota of her "million-pleasured joys" as Keats once wrote of them. That is why, when kissing, there should be as many contacts, bodily contacts, as is possible.
Snuggle up closely together. Feel the warm touch of each other's bodies. Be so close that the rise and fall of each other's bosoms is felt by one another.
Get next to each other.
"Snuggle Up Closely Together"
And, this same thing applies to the mouth in kissing. Don't be afraid to kiss with more than your lips. After your lips have been glued together for some time, open them slightly. Then put the tip of your tongue out so that you can feel the smooth surface of your kissee's teeth. This will be a signal for her to respond in kind. If she is wholly in accord with you, if she is, truly, your real love-mate, then you will notice that she, too, has opened her lips slightly and that., soon, her teeth will be parted. Then, if she is all that she should be, she should project the tip of her tongue so that it meets with the tip of yours.
Heaven will be in that union!
Lava will run through your veins instead of blood. Your breath will come in short gasps. There will rise up in you an Overpowering, overwhelming surge of emotion such as you have never before experienced. If you are a man, you will clutch the shoulders of your loved one and sense a shudder course through you that makes you pant. If you are a woman, and being kissed, you will feel a strange languor passing through your limbs, you-r entire body. A shudder will go through you. You will moan in the delicious transports of love. And, in all probabilities, you will go faint because the blood in your veins will be rushing furiously into your entire system and away from your head. Thus, you will be unable to think any longer. You will only be able to feel, td feel the most exquisite of pleasures that it has been your lot to feel.
THE FRENCH "SOUL" KISS
But don't stop at this.
Surely, there is more to your tongue than merely its tip. Probe further. Go deeper. Gently caress ,each other's tongues. For, in doing this, you are merging your souls. That is why this kiss was called the "soul" kiss by the French who were said to be the first people to have perfected it.. The French have always been a liberal minded people. And, it is because of the fact that they dropped Puritanism many years ago, that they were able to. perfect themselves in the art of love and, particularly, in the art of kissing.
Learn from the French.
Learn also from the Old Romans , especially Catullus, whose love poems to Lesbia have lived through the ages because of the sincerity of his passion and the genius of his ability to express his emotions in the form of beautiful poetry. For it was Catullus who wrote:
"Then to those kisses add a hundred more,
A thousand to that hundred so, kiss on!
To make that thousand up to a million;
Treble this million, and when that is done,
Let's kiss afresh, as when we first begun."
Kisses cost nothing. So kiss on. There is one thing that you cannot. take away from people and that is the ability to make love to each other. Despite the fact that the world suffered from a long depression, people continued to get married and they continued to have children. In fact, according to recently released figures, there were, more children born during the depression than there had been in good times. This means that, although married people did not have money, they still had themselves. They still had love. They still had the ability to kiss as they pleased and when they pleased and as often as they pleased.
Another poet asks:
What is a kiss? alack, at worst,
A-single drop to quench a thirst,
Tho oft it proves in happier hour,
The first sweet drop of one long shower.
Because kisses cost nothing.
So kiss on. Keep on kissing. Rare old Ben Jonson realized this when he wrote that, if he had one wish, it would be that he could die kissing. But it is not only the robust and lusty poets, like Ben Jonson, who are gluttons for kisses. There has been attributed to John Ruskin, an old fogy of a philosopher if ever there was one, a request from him to a young lady friend of his that she "kiss him not sometimes but continually." Still another poet wrote:
Kisses told by hundreds o'er;
Thousands told by thousands more.
Millions, countless millions then
Told by millions o'er again;
Countless as the drops that glide
In the ocean's billowy tide,
Countless as yon orbs of light
Spangled o'er the vault of night
I'll with ceaseless love bestow
On those cheeks of crimson glow,
On those lips so gently swelling,
On those eyes such fond tales telling.
PUT VARIETY INTO YOUR KISSES
It is with the last few lines of this poem that our next subject for discussion concerns itself. As was mentioned before, the true lover is not satisfied with only one or two contacts. He wants n6thing to be held from him. It is for that reason that, when kissing a girl, after. you have given sufficient time to the kissing of her lips, you should vary your kissing by diverting your zeal to other portions of her face. Robert Herrick, who wrote, many beautiful love lyrics in his day, has a poem which ideally synthesizes this idea of varied kisses. In it he says:
It isn't creature born and bred
Between the lips all cherry-red;
It is an active flame that flies
First to the babies of the eyes;
Then to the cheek, the chin and ear;
It frisks and flies-now here, now there-
'Tis now far off, and then 'tis near;
Here and there and everywhere.
Let us say that you have revelled in a sweet, long kiss. Suddenly, you see your loved one's eyes close as though in a moment of weariness. Gently detach your lips from her's and raise them up to her closed eyelids. Drop a kisslet first on one eyelid and then on the other. Feel the rolling orb quiver under your lips. Then , when you have done this, run your lips down along the line of her nose, stopping at odd times to purse them into a tiny kiss. When you reach the wrinkle of her nostrils, bury your lips deeply into the curve and kiss little niblets into first one and then the other. If her eyes still are closed, repeat the process.
But return to the lips.
Never forget this important injunction, "Return to the lips," for they can never become satiated with love's ardent kisses. The little kisses that you have deposited on her eyes and her nose serve only to vary the Menu of love. They are but spice to the course of love's banquet which should always be the "lip kiss."elling,
On those eyes such fond tales telling.
THE "SPIRITUAL" KISS
For instance, there can be kisses exchanged merely in intense glances. A sort of "spiritual kiss." can pass between the adoring eyes of a pair of lovers. The hot blooded Latin races know the power of such kisses. Their fiery temperaments are ever questing for new delights, for variations, for delightful and artful ways of adding to the pleasure of love. There is a poem extant written by a young Spanish poet to his sloe-eyed, raven-tressed senorita. No doubt it was sung by him under her balcony while the romantic moon streamed down liquid beams. But the poem quite amply describes this point of kissing with things other than your lips.
Then she kisses with her eyelids,
Kisses with her arching eye-brows,
With her soft cheek softly rubbing,
With her chin and hands and fingers,
All the frame of Manuela,
All her blood and all her spirit,
All melt down to burning kisses.
There, Perhaps fifteen feet away from him, was the light of her love. Yet, by means of her eyes, she was able to kiss him so that their love continued to flower.
THE "PAIN" KISS
A while back, mention was made of the "Pain kiss." It is with this seemingly paradoxical pleasure that we shall deal with now. First of all, it is necessary to explain that, although an act can be painful, it can still be pleasurable. The explanation is merely another indication of the variability of human nature. To begin, there are some people who derive an extreme pleasure out of being whipped or burned or beaten. There is no rational explanation for this strange, delight. The fact remains that they react pleasurably to pain. These people are called masochists. Similarly, there are other people who derive the same pleasure out of being the ones who inflict pain or perform the beating. Their abnormality, too, is inexplicable. They are called sadists.
The point is this: these people have these strange desires in extremes. But normal people have similar desires but they are not so strong. They are present only in minute degrees. That is why some of us deliberately uncover ourselves in cold weather or continue to pick at a sore tooth although the act pains us. It is for this reason that most of us are able to derive pleasure from the "pain kiss."
The "pain kiss" is simply a tiny bite, a love nip.
Catullus, who knew his kissing, if we are to judge from the many poems he left on the subject, once rote:
Whom wilt thou for thy lover choose?
Whose shall they call thee, false one, whose?
Who shall thy darted kisses sip,
While thy keen love-bites scar his lip?
THE SURPRISE KISS
A most charming manner of kissing is called the "surprise kiss." This is performed when one of the parties has fallen asleep, on the sofa, let us say. On entering the room, when the other sees his lover asleep, he should tip-toe softly over to her. Then, lowering his head slowly, he should implant a soft, downy, feathery kiss squarely on her lips. This first kiss should be a very light one. -But, thereafter, the intensity of the kisses should increase until the sleeping one has awakened. and, of course, even beyond that. The effect of such an awakening to a sleeper is almost heavenly. For, while in the midst of a dream, a pleasant one, most likely, for it will concern the other half of the couple, she feels vaguely, faintly, as though it were the touch of a butterfly's wing, a subtle kiss on her lips. Naturally, in the depths of her sleep, she imagines that it is part of her dream and the result. is a pleasant sensation, indeed. Then, gradually, athough still asleep, she feels the kisses continue. And the pleasantness continues. Then, as she starts to come out of her sleep, she realizes that the kisses are to real for a dream. But she is sure that she is dreaming. And so, immediately, a relapse from the happiness sets in and a twinge of sadness comes over her because she knows that', instead of being with her lover, she is only dreaming of him. Imagine, then, her extreme gratification, when, while thinking these drab thoughts, she feels the actuality of an intense, ardent kiss on her lips. Her heart flutters wildly. Her pulse runs riot. Perhaps she is not asleep, she argues to herself. Then she opens her eyes. And she sees the darling face f her beloved bending over her. And she feels the sensuous touch of his lips on hers. Truly, no awakening can be more pleasurable!
KISSING UNDER THE MISTLETOE
Perhaps, in conclusion, it would be appropriate to make mention of a few kissing customs which have intrigued mankind. For instance, there is the rite of kissing under the mistletoe, at Christmas time. The origin of this custom is uncertain. Suffice it to say, it must have been started by some woman because, in, it, She rule is that if a woman is caught standing under a sprig of mistletoe, any man has the right to kiss her, peremptorily, without asking her permision or begging her pardon. Here is one time when social convention doses its eyes to lover's delights. For, then, you can seize hold of the girl with impunity and smack her to your heart's content without being socially ostracized for it.
Only mankind has the reason, the logic, the happy faculty of being able to appreciate the charm, the beauty, the extreme pleasure, the joy, the passionate fulfillment of the kiss! Nature kisses, in her way, but nature hasn't the brains to profit from the kiss. Only man can do this.
X x X x X x X
Perhaps it would be appropriate to conclude this summary of the art of kissing with an excerpt from Shelley's immortal poem in which occur the following lines:
People tend to get fixated on “The Project” The project can take on many forms, it could be or a hobby or work or both.
The me is always reaching out for something in the future its goal orientated and looking for something to complete me to make me happy, to be some one. Its never happy in the present moment so rarely is the me content with what is.
There is the thought that when I find the right partner I will be fulfilled, she or he will make me happy. That’s an unreal expectation and besides if the source of your happiness is external to you, then in a very subtle way you are giving that outside source control over you through your emotions wants and needs. You meet the seemingly ideal partner you can tick all the boxes on your desire list. That called falling in love.
At the start you only have eyes for the other half, no time for projects, then after a while the projects start to beckon, the relationship starts to be routine, the aliveness, freshness, diminished, a pattern established.
When the realisation comes that love we feel for another is not actually dependent on the other but love that emerges within ourselves and is inherent within all human form then there is no sense of loss of identity if the relationship goes through a difficult patch.
There is no longer a feeling of being wronged to carrying the poor me story to anyone who will listen.
There can be a very strong love affair with the me story, “Look what happened to me” Our whole identity seems taken up with the story of what happened.
Looking in from the outside it can be seen that most relationships are dysfunctional but they survive.
Why?
Because there is pay value in that kind of a relationship.
The people involved in it would not see it or agree that they are getting something out of the constant bickering fighting making up cycle.
This is why.
There is the addiction to the adrenalin high from the argument, the opportunity to prove im right your wrong and if all else fails I might hit you. “Well he or she deserved it” is the justifying of it.
With every addiction there is a low after the high and of course its so unbearable to be in the low that the high is once more sought.
That might be through the seeking to make love after a fight.
The ego is very cunning and will go to great length to get its own way even to the point of seeming to apologizing, saying “im sorry dear it was my fault it wont happen again”
Of course after the high of the make up, the love making, then of course it all happens again, it could not be otherwise.
Life has got flat in the routine of it, no sense of being alive, of being me, no enemy to make me feel strong.
There is need of the adrenalin high and things have got kind off quiet, boring even. It’s a bit like the expression used by Nurses “Flat liners” that’s when the peaks and troughs on the heart monitor cease and all that’s left is a flat line, the patient is deceased.
So the cycle begins gain. The little me feels big and powerful when filled with adrenalin during the fight.
There is a strong egoic sense of identity in any drama.
Yes there are times when your spouse may not even like you far less love you. How do we best handle that situation?
By allowing it to be, that’s how.
There is enormous power for change in allowing.
Our partner has every right to express any emotion that she or he may have.
By accepting that right and allowing that emotion, freedom arises, for its ok not to be liked or loved for that matter.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
The moment that we accept that, not everyone or anyone can love us or like us all of the time then we are free of the pain that all kinds of relationships can cause.
We are no longer dependent on the external to prove to us that we are lovable.
When this is known peace of mind follows, you are laid back, you are easy to be with, and on the level of form you become very attractive, not that that matters.
You are also happy to be with you no reaching out for the next moment “to make me happy” Happiness comes from within.
We have a preconceived notion of what the role of our spouse is and of course what our role in the relationship is too. If our strongest role models ie our parents had a good relationship then chances are good that we will too.
Men see themselves as the bread winners and their woman as the bread maker.
There are boundaries “You do that, this is what I do.”
We all need our partner to be there for us to listen fully, to be present.
The biggest thing you can do for another is to be fully present, particularly when you are with your partner, leaving your own agenda aside.
Couples rarely really listen intently to each other. When the relationship ceases to meet your need to be fulfilled as a person then an obsession with work or hobby might start to take up so much time that there is little space is left for your partner.
“Well at least I know who I am when I’m at work” How often have we heard people say that.
So quarrels arise, both feel that they are neglected.
The male feels that he deserves better treatment and after all dosent he work hard to support the family.
The female is not too concerned about the money her man makes only that she works hard in the house and he is never there to give a helping hand.
“Wouldn’t it be nice if he cooked the evening meal once and a while?” she says to her friends who are in a similar situation.
The good thing is that when we are open it becomes possible to see our partner and their actions and attitudes in an entirely different context. NLP calls this reframing.
We could say we picture it differently.
See the other person’s point of view as if we are them.
It is also said that the other reflects back, mirrors part of us. So if our partner has aspects to their personality that we are none to fond of.
Could it be that we have similar character traits that we deny?
Our partner may push our buttons and we then say things and do things that we regret or justify later.
“That’s not like me” may be a passing thought. Whatever arises come up to be recognised accepted and let go of.
Without the buttons being pressed this blessing could not happened. So in a way our partner is to be thanked for bringing this into our awareness.
You will know that you have made real spiritual progress when a button is pressed and there is no knee jerk reaction from you.
You are immune but not indifferent. It’s not a “I couldn’t care less what you say or do” attitude.
It’s a state of non-judgmental love.
The situation is as it is.
As this begins to emerge in you the amazing thing is that your partner begins to change, if they are ready for change.
Through total non judgmental acceptance of your partner and others the energy of love can bring about a raising of spiritual vibration and with that occurrence, their perspective changes, they see things including you in a different light.
Let “You’re not the person I married” be a compliment rather than an observation of decline.
The Divine can be brought into all aspects of your relationship including love making.
The path of Tantric is valid. It’s not within the scope of this book to go into that, there are many spiritual books on the subject but you have to be selective in what you buy.
Everything in this word from the plant realm to the human realm came into being through interaction between male and female of the species, God created it that way.
Having a partner who is on the same spiritual or similar path to yours is a blessing. Having one who is not is also a blessing, they will be better at pushing your buttons perhaps.
The most important relationship of course is your personal relationship with Source/God and that is not an easy one at times either.
There comes a moment when awareness of Divine Love happens, it is not really describable but you will know it. Then the spiritual search starts in earnest, it’s as though you have tasted amirit the wine of the gods and nothing else will do. Human love is wonderful and of course has its very important place in the scheme of things but it is rarely unconditional or completely fulfilling. We will wander off into unconditional love for a moment.
A friend, a woman spoke of her unconditional love for her son, it came to mind and mind loves a story.
What if there had been a mix up at the maternity ward soon after birth and by mistake her child was given to another and vice versa. What then if years latter the accident was discovered and her “real” son appeared into her life, what then.
I think the lady in the story would have been big enough to accept and love both “sons”.
Children all belong to God we are just the the channel through which they materialse in to form.
So yes we have responsibility for them but we don’t own them.
So what is unconditional love.
If there is any sense of ownership, attachment, mine me in there agenda then there is a condition to that love no matter how small its there therefore it is not unconditional.
A well known story told to the best of my memory. Two Indian squaws claimed this particular infant as their offspring. The council said, well take an arm each and pull the child towards you and the stronger of the two will win. The women started to pull and the child began to howl as though he was being physically torn apart with these women pulling in opposite directions. In moments one could stand the child’s pain no more and gave up the struggle and just let go.
The council members decided she must be the real mother as only such love could put the child before her desire to have him. Is that unconditional love? I don’t know but it comes pretty close. When you love another enough to let them go that’s an indicator of uncondional love. Sel-ish is the opposite because self is involved.
In the bible it says that God is a jealous God, what does that mean?
It may be that what God said to have said meant “Get your priorities right” put no one ahead of your relationship with God, beside you yes. An equal partner yes.
So, one challenge that can arrive related to and in the relationship with God.
Commonly referred to as the “Dark night of the Soul”
On finding God as an experience not second-hand, not completely describable, there is quite often a period of bliss, that may last moments or days, however when it, this feeling, goes there is a vacuum created, (this may no happen for some time) a great emptiness, a sadness, sense of great loss, grief.
These are only words but when it happens it is unbearable, you just want to be home with God.
This has to be overcome too and can take time. It may recur from time to time but it is a sign of growth, painful though it is.
A stepping stone if you will.
At this time it is good if you have a partner or friend capable of unconditional love and understanding.
You may be temporarily incapable of accepting or giving human love at this time but this too shall pass.
Something also that needs to be addressed is that having experienced the love of God then human love can/may seem pale and lacking by comparison.
All I can say is that all love is of God and to let go of comparing.
Just be in the moment and whatever form love takes be happy for that.
Could be your pet showing even more affection than usual, they know.
Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum, or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: Okay. Well, the truth is... actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is, I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: [laughs] Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, well, okay... right. Well, I mean, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, because I thought it would be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
“What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”As spoken by an eleven year old from a line in the film, Love Actually.
A lot of people in relationships fail to communicate openly and honestly about what they like and what they expect from the other person so alot of times they are in agony becuse they do not feel they are achieving what love is suppose to give.
What is it about love that can have you raging in anger and reeling from joy in the matter of minutes? How is it that we, seemingly rational human beings allow ourselves such beastly behavior? I know its chemical and I know we can’t help it, but why do we put ourselves through it time and again? Why do we let love in, and then let it ravage us so completely often leaving us in tatters and destroyed?
what is described in the above paragraphs is *in love* or as i prefer to term it *in heat* …. before anyone gets their dander up, let me explain
~love is commitment, stability, companionship, trust, and great sex~
there is no *agony* in love, only in betrayal, lust and infatuation will you find *agony*.
what the paragraphs describe with the raging and reeling, the tumultuous feelings that run the gamut of emotions, the *knowledge* that you will not survive another minute on this earth if that person is ever taken from you, never to have or hold them again, the inability to eat because of the butterflies in your stomach when you think about them, or being unable to sleep because you are thinking of what has been done and said and what will be done and said next time you are with them, and how you can’t sleep because they are not beside you in the bed … that is infatuation, plain and simple, you don’t see the real person, you live on adrenaline, and emotion, on the smell, the taste, the feel, of that person … where every word, every breathe is measured in eternity, but it never lasts long enough, those moments together …
love knows that come what may, it will survive, that regardless of the dawning of tomorrow, it will remain just as strong and stable as it was the day it was given birth in trust …. that is love.
not the wickedly delicious hormonally pumped ups and downs, i mean reaaahhlly – think about this – could the human body survive without eating or sleeping for very long if that were really what love was only about? … the female would die before giving birth, it takes 40 weeks ya know, no way the body could survive and deliver a healthy baby ….
love is simple, can you trust that person to treat you as well as you treat them? not 100% of the time, there is always give and take in any relationship, but if you find that you’re giving more of yourself than you receive from your lover, you are nothing more than a friend with benefits. ("Total agony of being inlove eh?" ehehe Perhaps I’m masochistic, but that is an agony that I will gladly endure. Without pain how can we truly understand and appreciate pleasure?)
” Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.” -Albert Einstein
Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools. –Ecclesiastes 7:9
For what man knows the things of a man except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. -1 Corinthians 2:11-13
All human attempts to explain God are inadequate, and can even distort our priorities, confuse our thinking, and flatten our understanding of the spiritual life. God’s truth, we must rely on God’s power rather than man’s wisdom. -1 Corinthians 2:5
When you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your...deed may be in secret. –Matthew 6:3-4 “May our gifts be sacrificial, from our hearts, and full of love; Secretive and never showy, Pleasing our great God above. –Sper
Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. –Galatians 5:26 “Think not alone of outward form; its beauty will depart; But cultivate the Spirit’s fruits, that grow within the heart. –D. De Haan
"We sometimes find when we look at Bible stories that people think they know what they say. When we look more closely we sometimes find that the text is ambivalent." Ambivalent? Unbelievably, homosexuality in Sodom and Gomorrah may not have been the sin which brought God's judgment.. the greatest sin of the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah may have been their lack of hospitality towards guests visiting their city, and not sexual deviance (never mind the mob of queers about to break down lot's front door and rape the guests - Genesis 19:4-9). We have to remember the Hebrews were a nomad people in a dry, hostile environment. Weather and suspicious neighbors made hospitality a matter of survival. Being welcomed in a stranger's home or tent could mean the difference between life and death. The crime was pride. And it was inhospitality.
Unfortunately Church tradition of today has bought into these twisting of scripture and ignores true biblical research to find the truths of scripture. But many Christians and ministers just think they know it all and many are totally unaware of the background of some of their false teachings. This is the true abomination...all the hurt caused by the lies and false teaching instead of loving people just as God created them, regardless of their natural sexual orientation. It is very clear there is no choice in sexual orientation and the terrible hurt and failure of the "change-em" ministries is full of evidence how impossible and harmful trying to change ones God given sexual orientation can be. But ignorance prevails and the lies continues which all Christians should be ashamed of and speak out against. -Cool Cat
O Lord, my heart is filled with love For others who have urgent needs So help me share in every way What I can give through words and deeds. -Hess
The thought manifests as the word
The word manifests as the deed
The deed develops into habit
And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings
~ Buddha 2500BC
"I believe there is a perfect good and there is a perfect evil, it is why we are imperfect, because we need to choose between the two in everything that we do." -Cool Cat
"Our differences should be celebrated not debated." -Cool Cat
It seems to me that the more hate mongering and negative emotions that are spewed from the "fundamental religious" community, the less I wish to associate myself with them. As a result of having read Prayers for Bobby some time ago, and especially now after having seen the movie, I have taken a very hard look at my own spirituality, where it comes from, what it means to me, and how it affects others in my life, particularly those that I love. -rejenna
What does it mean to be Spiritual and Religious?
This is a tricky question, because it really depends on what is meant by all right, by spiritual, and by religious. Let's start with what it means to be spiritual. The derivation of the word spirit comes from the Hebrew and Greek words for breath, air, and wind and their uses. In various biblical passages, God breathes life into humankind, sustains our breath throughout life, revives us when faint or short of breath, and gives us a second wind when we need it, until our dying, when we breathe our last. That's the basic meaning. Then there's Ezekiel's vision of the dry bones, when God infuses new life into the skeletal remains of a former people, dramatically demonstrating God's power to recreate life from death and decay in a real, live old testament resurrection story.In the biblical sense, all living creatures are spiritual by virtue of being given breath in the first place.
There's a derivative meaning, illustrated in Jesus' conversation with Nicodemus in the gospel of John. Jesus is talking about being born again, of spirit from above, and Nicodemus is missing the point. In this sense, the word is used to refer to our awareness of the spiritual dimension of life, our alertness to the holiness in and around us, our capacity to sense the intangible realities of which the bible speaks. This awareness is focused in Jesus' invitation to Nicodemus to enter a new kind of life, characterized by a lively attention to grace through faith (or trust). In this sense of the word, we are all spiritual in differing ways and to differing degrees at various times, as we are more or less aware of the invisible, inaudible, impalpable sacredness of all things. This question seems to be using the word spiritual in this sense, referring to a conscious relationship with all that is holy.
Given this definition, it's obvious that there are a lot of folks out there who are spiritual and yet not religious. But what does it mean to be religious? The word comes from a Latin word meaning to bind. So religion is being bound by or binding ourselves to the priority of the spiritual in certain and various ways. When most people use the word, however, they are speaking of organized or institutional religion, as they say, meaning groups who have incorporated themselves into a recognizable not-for-profit entity under the laws of this country. Those who refer to religion in this way often condemn it for its self-interest. Such criticism is justifiable and even traditional, having been made repeatedly within scripture itself, the very scriptures held in such high regard by at least three major world religions.
It's worth noting that the criticism, while justifiable and traditional, is criticism of the distortion and perversion of true religion, which is elsewhere in scripture defined as the sacrifice of a broken and contrite heart. Here's a tricky trap in the question. Whether we're standing inside or out of organized religion, if we're criticizing the other stance without applying the same standards to our own, we're not practicing true religion, defined as humility before God and recognition of our common humanity. That is the summary contained in the great commandment with its corollary—loving God with all we've got and neighbor as much as self.
It's the common humanity part that's the underlying issue of the question. As much as we might wish to, we can't escape being social creatures, only capable of differentiation within society itself. That's who we are, where we run into problems, and where we will resolve them too.Being aware of the spiritual dimension in life means sensing the sacred not only within ourselves but also among us.We can't be healed, made more whole, in a vacuum. The reason religion happens is because we need to work things out together, puzzle them out together, try them out on each other, mess up and labor to do better next time. If we aren't making mistakes, we aren't learning much. The bible calls mistakes sin and learning repentance.
Oftentimes religion is accused of hypocrisy because of the discrepancy between its spiritual vision and its own attempt to live up to it. Yet it's pretty easy to tell when religious groups acknowledge their shortcomings and care for one another and the world even as they struggle to become more true to the vision over time. It's a snail's pace because it involves so many talking at once and tripping over each other. Even so, when folk forbear one another and persevere in faith together, they get somewhere you just can't reach any other way. That's the point, where we might get if we were all on board.
So it's not altogether all right to be spiritual without being religious.It's only partly right for some, some of the time, but it can't be most right in the end, over time. In the end, we can't solve our own problems, in and of themselves, without coming to the awareness that our problems are the world's problems. We're all in this together, for better and for worse. There's really no way to secede from the human race. Certainly, we don't need to submit to someone else's view of religion, but we can't avoid the general conversation, and sooner or later we will need to make some effort on behalf of the whole, the holy.We can't do it all. Neither can we remain on the sidelines. We can only do our part.
We are all spiritual participants. When someone says to me that they have no part in religion, they typically proceed to tell me how they are organizing their relationship with the sacred, complete with ritual practices and devotional exercises meaningful to them, often with other companions so inclined. And I wonder if it will be only a matter of time before they are codifying and anathematizing and generally misbehaving spiritually along with the rest of us. Also, they typically proceed to tell me how and with whom they are still arguing with whatever form of religion has previously been crammed down their throat in an unhelpful manner. It is apparent that they are attempting to reinvent the wheel.
A religion of one will not restore spiritual community, even though it might be the right place to hang out for a time, to cool off, to reconsider and redirect. Even those who have never affiliated, never had any family background of affiliation, even those cannot escape their engagement with the prevailing cultural stereotype of religion and the impact of religious extremism around the world. Being standoffish implies from whom. It can't be about God and me, only me and the Holy. However frustrating, it's about all of us and our broken community.True religion, while differentiating us, will also bind us together, in service to the holy and for the sake of the world. The religions we have, while imperfect, are the most time tested we have. We might as well see if we can use them for good, for God's sake.
"Be convicted in your own beliefs, do not convict others with them."
Sunland, California’s “Shelby, Tieg & Tara” are a singing-songwriting folk trio. They’ve been described as a modern Simon and Garfunkel, if they had sisters. The trio formed in December of 09 when Tieg Johnson somehow managed to convince his two favorite singers, Shelby Lindley and Tara Louise, to be in a band with him. Equipped with only their voices and an acoustic guitar, they found they were able to put a unique sound on each others original songs. Shelby, Tieg & Tara are avidly performing in the SoCal area with 45 performances already under their belt in just 12 months. They released their debut EP “Beauty Wood” May 30, 2010 to a sold out audience at the NoHo Arts Center. Their second release “Off to Neverland” is being released January 29, 2011.
The first time I discovered this band is on a twitter byCharlie N Andy@HowToBeADad in his tweet "Like Harry Potter? Indie music? Can't stop listening to this..." I Love Indie Bands and was invited to watch the second/last installment of the HP movie by my friends (which I reluctantly agreed as I have not watched the first part of it...) so go figure.
I could listen to their songs all day...
You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.-Cosby, Erika
